Betel Leaf Astrology

Soothsayer: Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be.
Kung Fu Panda 2
Sometimes I feel I don’t pay attention to what is happening really around me. That’s why I had ended up at a Soothsayer instead of an astrologer on a Monday Morning at 7 am. My friend had mentioned about this great women she met who had sorted out all her problems, I assumed it was an astrologer. I mean aren’t astrologers a direct link to God like priests to find solutions.
On the way down winding lanes in Rajagiriya with some betel leaves in my hand, I asked my friend, does she need to know my charts and It was explained no she is a soothsayer she only needs to look at the betel leaves. Old habits die hard, it was always astrology, tarot or numerology. I looked at the betel leaves and wondered if I could see anything even a glimmer of my questions. The leaves just looked back at me accusingly saying no I don’t have answers for your questions.
The house was a small dodgy looking place already with eager beavers waiting for their turn. So I am not the only one who wants solutions at this time of the morning. An Old lady walked out, her hair disarray, tooth crooked, all the buttons in her old nightdress had been lost and had an array of pins to hold it together. She looked the Sri Lankan Version of Nanny Mac phee if not for the pins and night dress.
“She is the one!” Whispered my friend excitedly.
I had met a lot of people who have read my future, my past and my present. This old lady staring at me was a vision I had never thought I would encounter. Is she a quack I thought in my mind looking at her?
She stared back at me as if she heard me and said “You all have to wait for 2 hours because the time is not good right now, we start at 9,"

The confusion and my Vote!

In the last week alone every day i have changed my mind about my vote. Today DH was kind enough to point out that i should have decided my vote in December and ended the conversation with his views on the elections.

Friends, family, cousins, colleagues, tailor, maids, drivers all have so many different views on it.

My moms friend and my mom were having a conversation that went like.

Friend : You do realise we are the minorities.

Mom : U are not Tamil know, so u are not minority

Friend : at times of this all minorities should get together and vote as one

Mom : u are not Tamil know
did u notice how the conversational thread had no link. Yes this is how all the over fifties converse. Aunty is a burgher for all those who are confused.

I am going to vote surely since every vote makes a difference. R says lets go waste it. Why waste it, i have another five days to get confused more about it. Another coffee at barista and still not sure...

People watching -1 at a seminar

Went to a seminar last week and made these random observations.

1. I counted the number of people attending the seminar, there were 40 women to about 162 men. What kind of fractions is that?

2. I think only 1/4 of the lot were really paying attention and the rest were there cause office sent (including me)

3. Some people get up and ask questions thinking they are so clever but ask real dumb ass ones. why is that

4. In colombo if u go to any different type of seminar u are bound to run into someone u know.

5. before they wrap up the seminar about 3/4 of the people walked out although there was no delay whatsover.

6. a man seated in front was just turned and staring for the after interval part of the seminar. not flattering to oneself since it was stalker like stare. old uncle in front was looking this way that way this way and that way.

Voting and more!

The day has begun with random calls of not how are you? but who did u vote for?

Brother calls up and asks if i have voted yet.

Me; hemm not yet. who did u vote for

B : a buddhist,a hindu and a muslim... (ok i am impressed did not think b was that patriotic)

Friend : why did u not vote men. I voted for who my dad told me to vote for have no clue who they are. (mind u this is not a eighteen year old but a 32 year old with two kids)

new assistant trainee : i voted for who mummy told me to (she is eighteen so no comments there)

DH who is out of town and is not here to vote calls and insists i go vote for whoever i feel like. Thanks

Dads out of town mum looks a bit blank i think she has forgotten that today is voting day.

My collegue was the best yet " i went voted and cancelled it out and came"

Nanny : I need to go early and vote ( i doubt she is going to vote but wants a half day off)

Me oh well i am going out for a bit of shopping...

Bride Hunt Calls

My Sundays are very eventfull calling up people in india and asking them about their daughters. I 'd never have thought in my wildest dreams that i would be doing this anyways spoke to some very interesting characters with their perception of sri lanka.

I only said these words : Good morning i am calling your about so and so's horoscope from colombo

Bridal Dad 1 : Sri lanka, no no way. it wont work for us. (slams phone)

Bridal dad 2 : Sri lanka, how is the war situation there, do u have electricity. (mind u i already explained i am from colombo. after explaining whatever i knew the man was nice enough to say NO WAY)

Bridal dad 3 : Colombo we watch in the news all the time, do u guys have food to eat... ( i am not kidding here)

Bridal dad 4 : its very far away we have to discuss with our family for long time and tell u reply (long time man take your time)

Bridal Mum 5 : well we are a mix (meaning mixed caste) but not interested in sri lanka.

Bridal dad 6 : so u guys have your own house (hemm yeah dad does). So u mean to say they have enough money saved up to buy a house ( WTF is that question)

By this time i am slowly tiring myself out. I am tired of trying to sound friendly and beginning to sound desperate. It seems like i have turned it into a project where i want to finish it like a fairy tale .... and soon tooo........

The hunt continues...

Credit card bills n jewellery

Went to school to pick up the kids and was silent participator of a conversation between two ladies S and L .

L : Did you go to the jewellery sale, it was so fab

Me cluelessly looking around had no idea what the sale was nor have I bought a rock recently (like in the last decade)

S : yes I looked nice stuff

L : I bought loads of stuff but my husband knows nothing

Me uh light bulb going off something does not sound right.

S : Doesn’t he pay your bills or u have a parents trust fund

I am still silent conversationalist in this talk, trust fund, wow

L : Credit card that he has given me, but he wont know

Me : Isnt your husband an accountant ?

L : yes he is a very important accountant (bit of boasting about the man with the numbers). I tear the first bill and wait for the second bill and he will pay without checking the balance is carried forward

S and me just looked at each other in shock…….

Giving life…

Had the opportunity to meet a couple who had adopted a baby. I know the father from work since we are on a project together. He was away for some weeks and told me that his wife had a baby. Last week while at work, while I was busy teasing him about fatherhood and the works. He said I needed to talk to u about it actually we adopted. I was so thrilled and happy for him and he just started pouring his heart out. The adoption was not supported by his or her parents. He also said how his neighbors were giving trouble and being very nasty to them since they adopted. They had even complained to police. I was seriously dumbstruck. I know there are cases of buying and selling babies but what about the genuine cases where couples do want to give a baby a life.

Our people are such if a woman does not have a baby they ill treat and due to medical reasons u can’t have u adopt they are still very nasty to u.

Giving life to a baby is one of the many generous deeds anyone could do. I had always wanted to do that but as the above case my parents and in laws would never support it. Without that support I could never do it. I know of couples who don’t have kids and don’t adopt due to this and many other reasons.

What you see and what you want to see!

I was wandering around Odel one weekend, passing delifrance I saw a good friends husband reading the papers with a cup of coffee. So decided to bug him and went up and teased him that was he hiding here from the wife on weekends. He burst out laughing and told me to sit and have a coffee.

So I joined him was joking with him while looking at the mirror in front of me (I was people watching ok). If you sit at Delifrance in Odel facing the restaurant there is a big mirror where u can watch other people walking around. I spotted this lady (L) who we both knew and I saw her looking at friends husband then at me and quickly making two n two that this was not the wife he was sitting with. Watching her facial expression was classic and she kept walking this way and that way looking over at him. She could see my back but did not have the brains to look into the mirror to see my face. I told my friend this and he started laughing and trying to put his head down and keep the paper in the side and have conversation with me.

Now L who was trotting here and there quickly had one of those tube light moments where she rushed into the restaurant to get a table right behind us so that she could see who I was. But before rushing to her table she said hi to the friend’s husband but did not still look at me and ran to the table. She sits down to look at me (I was with a big friendly smile in my face). Her face literally froze (ok it was already frozen with the entire pancake and stuff that she had put on her face but froze a bit more). Then fake laugh (I hear load of that here for some reason) how are u dear and where is your husband and where is your wife? To the point or what! By this time my friend comes rushing in with a load of clothes and joins us. When I told her what this woman had been up to later she said I should have texted her she would have come up and burst out crying….. Maybe I’ll do that next time to make L’s Day…

I feel sorry for L because she has the biggest womanizer in town as her husband. She painstakingly goes into every gory detail about him to everyone she knows. So much that my mom has been updated about L”s husband and that too she met my mom maybe once.

Customer Care at Banks

After the disastrous Bank affairs in India which I posted last week, this week I had to visit two Banks in Colombo. I must hand it out but the girl handling the account was very helpful and friendly. This particular bank earlier a couple of times I have had some nasty experiences. So it was even more impressing to me the way the girl was very attentive and actually made a difference in the banking experience. I was being my usual serious self (which is work mode when I am the B from hell). End of us going through accounts non stop she was really trying to be friendly. In the end cracked a few jokes and wrapped up happily.

After than proceeded to another bank (again no names mentioned). This guy was on the mobile I was getting calls non stop as well. The meeting which should have been finished in 10 mins was dragging on forever since we both could not concentrate. At one point I was on the phone and suddenly had this eerie feeling. I looked out of the corner of my eye this guy was just staring quietly. Quickly cut the call short and said sorry and started talking. He was still staring and by this point I was not feeling comfortable at all. The thing is I do slightly know him outside our work affairs as well and he was behaving quite strangely. Well maybe he was having a horrid day as well. Or he just realized that I had two horns growing out of my head.

Piece of bread

We had to visit one of the research places on work. While waiting at the lobby, we suddenly smelt seenisambol. Now with the ac in full force you cannot miss this smell. It just hit like a really strong wind. Looked up and the secretary was with a piece of bread in her mouth. I guess she has her breakfast in the morning at ten at her work desk everyday. Nothing wrong with that.

We went in for our meeting which lasted quite a bit came out and the woman still had a piece of bread in her mouth. So she has been eating her seenisambol paan for 2 hours or so. She must be very slow at eating or really busy (no way was she busy). How do these institutions get their work done if the staff sits with their morning breakfast for two hours? Won’t the woman get bored of this monotony of sitting with the paan for two hours…?

“Keeping Up with the Jayatungas”

The last few years associating with one circle of friends has caused me to re-assess my values of things that are important. Comparisons of house, cars, mobile and clothes resulting in massive revenue for automobile industry and trading industries in general have been profitable (although inflation is going up!). A part of the women have been seen competing with each other and do the same thing. I got caught up in this slightly and was busy shopping like there is no tomorrow.

Getting a bit mad about materialistic things were ok but the others were getting out of hand with the same hair cuts same salons same everything.( can you believe that five women I know have the same hair cut ditto) I think I reached the point of seeing light when one day we had a conversation which goes like this.

F 1 : What are you doing to your house blah blah blah

F2 ; I am getting this light blah blah

More blahs were exchanged and I was happily lost in dream world when they realized that I was zoned out and pounced on me

F 1 So you are at a rented place santhoshi, not thinking of getting your own place

Me: Well I can’t really afford to buy my own place so we live for rented

(The Two Fs completely ignore what I said)

F 2: I think you know it’s important for us to have our own houses, I think Tamils don’t like to have their own houses.

I said nothing kept quite.

The two friends are not of the same religion and are very good friends who are educated. I don’t think the conversation was meant to be on racially motivated either they just believe that Tamils for some strange reason don’t want to live in own houses.

It’s just that now that the situation here is so bad, that every little thing which is said out of people’s unawareness bother me. The people who were having conversation did not really care about what the other person was doing they were only doing a comparative analysis of who had the better stuff.

IF I said this out aloud at that point, I would have been immediately branded as a jealous cow. Having my own place has not been a priority to me anyways (but then again I should not have been posting this if it was not that a big deal, damn I am confused now!)

(F does not stand for any fowl language)

Forwarded Mails Mania!

I think everyone finds this forwarded emails a day to day headache. Click delete click delete. Strangely a handful of colleagues and friends send all this forwarded stuff everyday. The thing I hate in these mails are the ones where they say you will have bad luck for the rest of your life or fall down and break your head and die. If this was not enough I was getting postal mails of send 100 letters you will get good luck or you will have bad luck sort of religious mails too.

The latest nonsense that has caught up with this forward mail mania is photos of other people’s parties. One of my colleagues has this madness where he somehow gets photos of private parties and sends it all around town including moi. I think the last set of photos which he sent me had this heading of some private bank and some wrong info that it was some banks trip. Whereas infact it wasn’t but had some friends I know who had gone on a trip (no I was not in it) and they do not work at that bank. I requested the colleague not to send me these so called forwarded pics of real people. So there is some idiot who goes out with a click of friends then happily sends private pics all round town to be forwarded.

The other day I was talking to my friend about this and she said that someone she new had taped some private moments with his wife on his mobile. His mobile had broken down so he had given it to fix without deleting the video and the phone company guys had taken copies of this saga and sold it as REAL videos.

I guess we have to be more careful with the pictures we take on our mobiles and cameras and make sure that we don’t lose them. But even after that there will be a black sheep who will have the audacity to take pics on the sly and send it around!

Borrowers!

This is not a post about a bank but of people that I know. Have a good friend and a cousin who always keep borrowing money from me. Randomly it’s like when we go shopping they are like oops I forgot my cash or really lame excuses. I have this habit where I cannot say no although I know very well that I am not going to get the money back.

Well simple solution for this would be to pretend I don’t have any cash either. But then I just cannot bring myself to say so. Just a mental math of cash I have handed out like this comes to a reasonably amount (could have spent it on stuff I like).

I think it’s a family gene that I am unable to say no to these clowns cause the other day my mum had left a few missed calls. When I called her back she tells me that some class mate of mine from school had turned up at her place and borrowed some cash. I was like who?!! She had to remind me various escapades for me to really place this girl. I have not been in touch with her for like ten years and she turns up out of the blue to borrow money from my Mom!. The point I cannot still understand is that if I borrowed from anyone I would remember and immediately return. How can these characters just conveniently forget? Is it intentional or they are just absent minded?