A friend calls up and asks advice that her husband’s Ex wants to be friends again with him. (Confused? Yeap join the club?). Story is this Friend (F) and her Husband (FH)have been married for many years now. The FH s ex (FHX) i.e his first girlfriend from school has called him up and wants to be friends with him.
I should write an equation on this. Anyways, F was freaking out since FHX has called up FH saying that she is unhappy in her marriage having lots of problems and that she is very ill and they should be in touch. Red alert there! FH is a decent enough guy to have told F about this, but is not being enthusiastic enough to listen to F and not be friends with FHX. F was losing her marbles and totally freaking out since this was a strong long affair from school onto university.
My personal opinion was you cant be friends with and Ex. Obviously even if u are happily settled now your first love will always be special. Call me old fashioned but there it is. What is your opinion on this? Can we be friends with the Ex?
15 comments:
i think some people are mature enuf to handle it. but others aren't.
so unless you're really sure of yourself and what you feel about your ex, it would be safer not to play with fire ya?
definitely not.
U better advice your friend to keep an eye and tell the hubby to stay away from ex. Recipe for disaster!
In this case I would say a definite no no cause the FHX (did I get that right?) said she is already unhappy in her marriage. To me it looks like she's trying to get FH to fill the gap. No wonder F is freeking out! Keep clear I say FH!!!
Here's the deal. FH is no more one person. He is part of couple. Hence if FHX calls up FH, FH should simply say ofcourse, F and I both will love to be friends with you and help you through this. F needs to be involved in the process and that way FHX will also realize that FH comes with the package of F and that she can't cross boundaries, just because she is going through a shitty time.
You can never be friends but many keep going what I call a cordial relationship. Especially if you have something in common with your ex. Like a child...
The mistrust and jealousy or whatever is strictly a female thing. You girls just hate to trust your partner. So if an ex comes into the pix, you blow up. Especially Sri Lankan birds.
DD
hypothetically i guess its possible, but so is poweringthe whole world for 5 minutes by burning s sheet of pape (einstein)
experience says, nope. so i'll have to agree with you
Just look at the equation:
1. The Ex is out of touch for ages
2. She has problems in her marriage
3. She calls your friends husband and says she wants to be friends
I'm pretty dumb when it comes to these things but even I can see that this is a recipe for disaster.
In general, of course you can be friends with your Ex.
In this case it seems not, since she's just out of a relationship. But you really can be friends with exes.
I'm very good friends with one of my exes and a few of my best friends are girls I hooked up with.
I guess it depends on so many variables. I know people who are friends with their ex's, even best friends. I don't think you can be best friends without someone getting hurt somewhere -- but you can be friends.
hmmm.... I personally don't think I can be friends with an ex.. like you mentioned, those feelings will just keep popping up......
it's always better to stay away from Ex's... :)
Ex cam br friend. In this case most probably not. But FH can be LUCKY, You know what I mean,,,? Bahaha
I think you can, but this time it doesn't seem such a great idea. :D
It takes time to get used to having an ex around as a friend, and sudden reappearances don't help.
On the other hand, themissingsandwich's idea sounds good.
Your set of friends never cease to amaze me. A lively bunch, aren't they?
Hmm... I can talk from my personal experience.
I think you can, but you should not be friends with your ex. Especially if you broke up not because you had problems but because of other things. Because you can't really forget and tend to end up in shit like I did...
So, staying away is the best thing...
It depends on the people and situation. Personally I think its ok to maintain friendship with your Ex. But you need to be transparent with your partner and this should happen with yours & your Ex’s partner’s permission. All parties need to think and act like matured people. Both you and your Ex should have own rules. You should not cheat your partner on this matter and don’t break the rules. If you break the rules, you will lose both your partner and your Ex.
This is how I think but I know this is not an easy thing. Most of the female partners won’t like their men to be in touch with his Ex. This is again a debatable topic. Any way I don’t have this experience since Im married to my first love :). But I still believe that you can keep in touch with your Ex.
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