Katharagama 2010!

There I was on the annual pilgrimage to Katharagama. I was looking for signs of some sort to show me something about how my year is. Waiting at the entrance, we could not get in, there was huge crowds, was temporarily distracted by the kavadi dancers. They seemed so full of spirit dancing their cares away. A lady in front got posessed and started dancing. Kids were highly excited and wanted to join in the dance. Stopped them. The crowds were large in numbers due to the first weekend, no its always crowded. Two dogs started fighting and there was temporary panic. Held the kids tight. There was a two year old girl lost and crying for her parents. People from the temple led her away. So easy to lose yourself and belonging there. Went in with the crowds was pushed pulled was there for a few minutes. Still my mind was not at peace. It was just too short. I have so many things to ask for (although i know its not right that we should not ask god for things).

Next morning we went for the four thirty pooja. The gates were closed we were waiting with a small que. The weather was just right pleasantly cold. Yes katharagama was pleasant weather this weekend. It was not dry and hot as i always felt. We got into the temple just in time to wait for the five am pooja for the lord. I turned to look out, the crowds were there again. We had just made it on time. I looked at the beautiful face of Lord Muruga. I was going to start listing the things i wanted then i stopped. The clanging of the bells started. Suddenly i could not stay in there. The bells beating and the sound of the conch shell was making me dizzy. I was sweating maybe i should move out. But no i could not, the guy does the announcing was telling "dont move" repeatedly. For a moment i could understand how the women get possessed and lose their mind temporarily. It is so very easy. I stayed was feeling slighly ill, too much of heat and sound. looked again to the face of the lord. I felt he was looking at me. I just stayed with my prayers and a fear of fainting. Of course i did not faint and cause drama. I did not ask all the things i wanted. I realised that this year we will get the things we deserve. Isnt that always the case with life.

The last arathi and they gave us blessings turning around one of the priests smiled he gestured come forward and pray. That was the sign that I have been looking for...