Rain, Traffic and Colombo

So late to drop S in school today, I mean what with the rains who can wake up early in the morning. Driving in duplication road I was getting stressed that it was eight and we were going to miss one whole lesson but then he is five years so that wont really harm is intellect so decided to distract myself ( I would not even try to attempt the nursery rhymes with actions). Driving in Colombo you don’t need to do anything to distract yourself since the fellow drivers give us enough entertainment to last a life time.

Hear a non stop hooting behind turn around and a pissed off looking girl stares at me. Arch my eye brows asking her what she gives me annoyed look. Now I am really confused do I know her? S who is always double bent in the car pops up and the girl looks at him in shock and turns her face. WTF was that about… women ok we are complicated. At least she stopped her sound pollution bit.

Look out of the window at a moving bus feel like someone’s waving I look a guy shows his finger. This is like the fifth time this is happened. Some weirdo sticking his finger up. I know I should have done something equally rude but then I don’t want the five year old picking up rude gestures.

Look at the car in front of me with this sign which said “honk if you are horny” ………
Big bus comes and breaks right next to me then decides that he will cross over in the middle of thurstan road to the other side…….. the pleasures of driving in Colombo are endless…………..

AM (part three)

There are some things in life which we assume about ourselves. Negotiation with work related issues is something I love to do. But when you try to do same with family you realize maybe you are not that good a negotiator be it your own kids or your parents. Explained clearly to parents that B does not want to get hitched for a year and he wants someone good looking. Dad had an amused look.

Dad: So it’s decided we start looking immediately.

Me: dad he needs a year (god what have I been explaining the past half hour)

Dad: Yes I know but we start looking immediately.

(Repetition is a parental language by itself. Is it only my parents who keep repeating things again and again?)

After a good one week dad calls up again and says I might have to travel to some far off village in the interiors of south India which does not have an airport. So I am suppose to get off at some point which has an airport and go by a car for three hours to find this village. This was all that was said with me asking why but given only instructions on how to get there. (Obviously I cannot drop things and rush off like that since I just got back from India.) Why I had asked but nothing said about why what. So call up mum.

Me: why on earth do I have to travel to this village?

Mum: it’s the girl
(Here we go again)

Me: lets me get this straight the girl lives in this village which is like far off place

Mum: yes, but she is only working there her parents are in the city..

Me : so why are we going to go half away across some village where I don’t know anyone when we can see her in the city…

That was greeted with an OH…

This whole business is getting on my nerves since I don’t want to go and check out a girl as if she is a prized cow and then say no or something. I know of some relatives who have gone in bunches and big groups eaten the entire good south Indian food drunk the coffee and rejected the girl in the basis of looks…. I feel sins like that is something you carry for a long time… then again this is how an arranged marriage works the traditional one. I went through the same process but luckily the first proposal clicked.

The Makeover…….

Just like when the New Year dawns where my resolution to lose weight starts and fades by the mid of the year I decide its time for a change with my look. That’s because my birthday is in June. So this year just like last year I thought will go for a make over of my wardrobe. Usually its something more drastic like a hair cut gone wrong or trying out different make up (ending up like jojo the clown with the blush on cheek, still cant figure that bit of make up out). Since I had to go to Chennai last week went a bit cuckoo and picked out these new clothes to wear to work.

Walking into office in my new look my colleagues just stared. Why do I always manage to do the wrong thing at the wrong time. So now I am like an arty hippie type with all these kurta tops which should only be worn for yogi guru types and beads(definite yogic look). Even I have not managed to get to the yoga class which I have been planning to go to at least go the guru look right. Now need to stash this away and uncomplicated my life by slipping into my usual clothes and look.

Arranged Marriage Part 2 (AM part 2)

Decided that discussing with the brother (B) had to be done directly because if he was making puke faces I can’t detect from the phone. So went up to see him with the usual hi how are u.

B: Are you ok you look really uncomfortable

Quickly explained the conversation to him and watched his face turn a few shades grey. This is as much as I seen so many emotions run in his face (the boy did not cry when grandma died).

B: F____ F______ I don’t want get married I am running away

Right that makes things easy but I knew I was not going to get off easily with this answer because next my mom would pretend heart attack. So told him they are serious so give sensible answer.

B: shit man my friends kept telling me I will be the first one; I am so young I am so young (repetition of the same things is a genetic default in the family)

Me; I was nineteen when I got engaged, so u are lucky u should count your blessings or whatever

B: that’s tough luck on you, I don’t want to get married, and I am young only 24
(Puts his head down on his hand)

Quickly explained that the parents were not going to stop so option of running away is out and also the conditions they had put down. He looked downright pissed off when I told him about the three things they were particular.

B: oh ok so they have all this criteria let me get this straight whose getting married

Me: right do we have any preferences

B: yes I need another three years

Me: its out they won’t wait, I really cannot handle a heart attack situation

B: ok tell them to wait a year we ll talk about it then.

Me: do u have any conditions

B: she has to be a babe and young like nineteen twenty

Me: a babe? Nineteen twenty, don’t be sick. You need to be a stud to get a babe. I shall not let you marry a teenager.

B: you are going to pay back for all our childhood fights aren’t you.. Listen you have to put it off by a year.. How does this work

Me : well we exchange horoscopes, then it has to match then I go to see the girl if shes nice then u get to go but u cant say no

B: totally out I need to talk to the chick (chick?@@@ ) what if she is forced as well or something. Need to talk it out….

Well obviously this has to be handled delicately my parents are very old fashioned I can’t tell them he wants a babe so will have to be subtle and explain that beauty is important for him.

Arranged Marriage part 1

My parents call me up when I am really busy to announce that its time.

Me; Time for what (I am utterly clueless here since I was thinking time for what? For them to move back to India, or some astrological time?)

Dad: u know the time has come

Me: For what???? (Or this conversation was going to go forever)

Dad: We have found a girl (ok this is really ridiculous have they found some half sister who they had forgotten to mention, or are they adopting a sister… my imagination is really running in those few secs)

Me: a girl? For what
(Why can’t they talk what I understand?)

Dad: your brother its time for him, we have seen a girl…

(Did not see that coming my poor brother is 24 and I am sure he does not see that coming either but bit thrilled since I get new clothes ok I am vain)

Me; ok

Dad: is that all you can say? We have found a girl

Me: Who is she?

Quick conferring with my mom in the other end. They are sure it’s a girl

Mum: it’s a girl

(Right now that we have established that he is straight and we are getting him married to a girl can we get on with this)

Patiently I ask them some questions and the conversation just keeps around a girl. That’s all they have figured out. Then end of the conversation they were clever enough to point out that I am not acting responsibly I must check this proposal out. After half an hour conversation they have some criteria
She has to be the same caste
She has to be from a good family (god!)
Horoscope has to match...

And the only information I have is she is a girl. Unless I get a James bond to help me out (even he might find it difficult to work on that one)… Also I am the Chosen one to talk to my brother……. (I am scared)

Stuck in Traffic

This has happened again like for how many times. Today the road was blocked so much and was in the same road for one hour. In the midst of this the busses decide they will do a u turn on to the middle pavement running the road and go the other way. I was considering doing the same but was scared if the car would get damaged and stayed listening to some crappy music in the car.

Still no clue why the roads in and around Fort were so chock a block. Was looking forward to the weekend so much but was tired by the time I reached office a good one half hours later. Hope its clearer when I am getting back.

Superstitious Days, Bad omens and other stuff.

I follow a lot of silly superstitions like a prayer. It’s been unnerving but if a black cat crosses my path I freak out totally and try to reverse back or turn back. Logically I know the cat had to pass by my way to get to the other side and does not give a damn whether I move front or back. Ever since the day a black cat crossed my path and I just ignored it and found the baby getting dengue that evening (both were obviously not interconnected), I am petrified of black cats.

Here is a list of superstious crap that I am scared of
I don’t do any new deals on a Tuesday
Wont walk under a ladder
Get very upset if the mirror breaks
Wont open an umbrella inside the house
Will not visit a new place on a Tuesday
My old aunt said that seeing a dead body while u are going somewhere is good luck (Yes she was a bit gory in the head). I saw five dead bodies passing my way left right and centre near borella cemetery the day my mom announced my arranged marriage to me.


Loads of silly little things that I consider bad omen and good omen. Logically its all nonsense of course.

Now for the good stuff. I have laughing Buddha’s all over the place and rub their belly for good luck before a meeting. I try a bit of feng shui here and there and place flowers and candles here and there but since I am clueless about the directions am sure have got it all in the wrong places. Tried hanging some wind chimes in the balcony but found them disturbing the silence I love so much took it down immediately. Very specific about who I see first in the morning so will open my eyes and look into my hands (apparently the gods are living there).

I think I have left out quite a bit of other things and that sums it up I am really weird…