Friday, January 25, 2008

Sacred Dot on the forehead!

Had to attend a meeting with one of our clients about some of our down south ventures at work. Meeting was proceeding quite well or so I thought since I was half tuned off and nodding my head. When the all important person (our client half white man) says “ Santhoshi need to tell you something please don’t feel insulted”

Me : (thinking oh damn he knows I am not listening to anything he is talking, but quickly give a smile) “No sir what is it?” ( My voice must have given away that I was utterly worried how he was going to insult me)

Client : You should not take it personally

My office manager was utterly thrilled and was sniggering happily. I was bit embarrassed cause I really did not would not like being shouted at. Especially in front of my colleagues.

Me : Its ok please go ahead

Client : I am not insulting you or your beliefs but it’s a request please don’t wear the dot in your forehead. This is important when you are handling my part of the region. Hope you understand.

Me : (dumbstruck for once just nodded my head) Mhem

Well I was not really insulted or worried cause in a day to day basis I wear the dot / pottu when I feel like it. Of course I would not go in front of my parents or in laws without it. I do have a habit of not wearing it when I go out. My mom scolds me all the time if she catches me without it. I know it’s not right but I have a habit of taking it off when I approach a security point.

Well the true fact is all married Hindu women are supposed to wear it in red color. But these days to keep up with fashion everyone wears different bling bling stuff. I never wore it to school, now my daughter hardly wears it either unless it’s some festival. But I know all the older women in my family would have felt insulted if someone told them not to wear a pottu.

Have a friend who had the nerve to tell me why u don’t wear a pottu, you should do so shows that you are a Tamil. Ya right my foot! He would never dare to tell his wife to wear one even to the temple.

A widow once told me you don’t know how lucky you are you should wear a pottu all the time. She knows the importance of it since she can’t wear it.

Maybe I am taking things for granted wearing it when I wish. Taking it off for convenience! So next time I head off to the south, will I be wearing the sacred dot on my forehead? Probably Not!!

10 comments:

Diaspora Voices said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Diaspora Voices said...

Santhoshi

Sorry earlier comment had a typo, so reposted.

My sincere apologies for all these ignorant Sri Lankan’s and non-Sri Lankan’s.

You have in your post; highlighted in a nutshell the biggest problem we have in the paradise Isle.

Hidden Bigotry!

When I lived in Colombo, part of the usual Saturday routine would be to go for the Navagraha Pooja in the morning and then proceed with the weekend groceries, shopping etc. So obviously after the Pooja I would drive around Colombo with ash and a red pottu on my forehead.

The glares I got from normal people going about their business were amazing. And yes, invariably I would also get stopped at every checkpoint I passed.

Finally it got to be a bit of a personal crusade and I tried my best to irritate people as much as possible with the fact that this was my belief, it does not make me a member or sympathiser of the LTTE.

Your culture and religion is who you are. Tamils are very much a part of Sri Lanka’s heritage and history.

Sri Lankan’s must understand that the LTTE do not represent the Tamil Diaspora. I know many hardcore LTTE supporters will disagree with me on this.

But this what I believe and if I do not stand up for my beliefs, I have nothing.

In business however, it is a real ‘Catch 22’, forgive the cliché – Global expertise, local knowledge!

Queen from Another Planet said...

I know I'm commenting on Santhoshi's post, but much of it is directed to Dsome, who has posted before me.

I am female, Sinhalese & an atheist. I have plenty of arguments with my parents as to my refusal to sight a temple, or do a Buddha Pooja or what to wear for any such event. Therefore, a Pottu does disturb me, but not at all on a racial/ethnic level.

It disturbs me as a woman, that women are required to show to the world proof of them being married, while men have no such rules, customs or restrictions. Why is it always the women who are required to demonstrate the fact that they are part of a marriage, chaste, clean, virtuous etc (not all these are aimed at the Pottu)? For me, it represents a form of repression and chauvanism.

At an atheistic level, I'm distrubed by all unnecessarily visible symbols of religion. These include Pottus that are too large, statues of various saints/leaders of all religions in public places, office desks, vehicles etc. Any relationship with God should be personal - not advertised to the world. If I wore a t-shirt insulting religion, Hindus, Buddhists, Christians & Muslims alike would feel offended. This is the same thing.

Dsome, why is it that when some negativity is directed towards a Tamil, the first assumption is that of bigotry? There could be plenty of other reasons, as I have demonstrated. It is this kind of mindset that will have you running around in circles.

While I sympathize with you being stopped at checkpoints, it is an unfortunate fact that all Tamils are not LTTE, but all LTTE are Tamil. Thus, innocent Tamils will get checked a disproportionate number of times. That situation won't change till the LTTE goes away.

But please do not assume every look you get is a negative one, or the negative looks/statements/acts towards you is based on bigotry. There is usually another far simpler explanation.

Diaspora Voices said...

Dear Queen from Another Planet

Wake up and smell the roses. And all the best with the Atheist thingy.

I too am a Sinhala Buddhist and believe that everyone has the freedom to voice their opinion and live life in any manner they see fit.

So get off the 'holier than thou' horse please and brush off that big chip you have on your shoulder.

We are all human.

Thank you.

Just Mal said...

Wearing the dot shows your disrespect for Sri Lanka and your defiance for assimilation. Take the damn thing off and Sinhalise your name.

Diaspora Voices said...

Oh dear!

Don't cry for me Argentina.

So many Evita Peron's.

Santhoshi, sorry not you.

santhoshi said...

Dhamikka- I guess you kind of understood what i am saying. these things never bothered me before but recently its been nagging me a lot. So who knows might be leaving if it becomes too much to take.

Queen- I have to disagree with you. The pottu does not depict chauvinism. Frankly i dont think you understand what i am talking about.

Diaspora Voices said...

Santhoshi

Ignorance and bigotry is everywhere.

Unfortunately terrorism in Sri Lanka has brought this to the surface to simmer in a disgusting manner.

This December when I visited Singapore I was quite disappointed to see fully armed commando presence on Orchard Road on New years Eve. They were rounding up all South Asians walking down the road and checking them. ONLY SOUTH ASIANS MALES HANGING OUT IN GROUPS. I was left alone as I was with my family. But the males were clearly being hassled, checked and warned.

In the west this would have raised screams about human rights. Strangely this morning I was discussing this with my wife who was born and bred in England. She who is one of the most broadminded people I know and she said 'Singapore's way of dealing with it was to have armed presence. We don't know what happened before to bring this about, but rather than reacting to a situation, they were making sure nothing happened, unlike in the west where its the other way around'.

It still makes me uncomfortable, but she is right.

So where ever we are in this world, there will be racists, bigots and just plain stupid people.

However, you should please know that any educated, sensible people in Sri Lanka or the world do not think in this manner.

I suffer prejudice everyday, in arguably one of the best most tolerant cities in world, London. I put up with it for my kid to get a good education.

So where ever we go we have to face this. Whatever nationality you are.

I wouldn't worry about it too much and just get on with it I guess.

Unfortunately as you get older you find it gets worse.

Not put up with it, but ensure that it doesn't take you away from your life's goals and what you want you and your family to be.

What really bothers me is that it does affect you, and subsequently affects your behaviour in society.

The world is becoming such an ugly place. I worry about the legacy we are leaving our kids.

Diaspora Voices said...

http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=c1d80d8f-73f4-4785-ae83-36afdc1e5621&&Headline=Indian+tourists+keep+Lankan+tourism+afloat

I would also strongly urge people who are like-minded to JustMal to please follow that link above.

santhoshi said...

Thanks Dhamika I did not even want to answer justmals comment.